20th Century Journeys

What do I want, what do I really want?

To ask this question for a day deepens the sense of an interior life and strengthens inner listening. Later I met a teacher in Jerusalem, Susie Schneider, who explained that even seemingly trivial physical needs and wants are not to be dismissed out of hand. In Jewish thought, the prompting of the heart, even for a bagel with cream cheese, is a serious message. Because only by listening carefully to what we want can we begin to hear what is wanted of us.

Reb Zalman gave me a second way of approaching the question: "Find your risk."

That is good advice. But how much risk? Buddha left his family and palace behind to become a wandering contemplative; Abram obeyed the startling command Lekh lekha - go and leave your father's house, and the land of your birth. What sort of voice was he hearing? Did it come from within or without? Should I, too, quit my job, leave my home, start over?

Reb Zalman stopped walking, smiled, and looked serious. "No," he said quietly. "Have the hokmah to change your life from where you are."

Hokhmah is wisdom.